Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.