What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
I can sea clearly now.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!