My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.