Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
Beach you to it.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Water you doing?
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles