My fire tonight...
Was lit!
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!