How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Girls just wanna have sun.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Whale, hello there.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
Seas the day.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.