Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.