There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.