Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
I stopped my phones to the cloud, and I kept getting mist calls.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.