How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
Don't get tide down.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.