You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.