Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.