Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.