Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
I can sea clearly now.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.