How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
Beach, please.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Tropic like it's hot.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.