What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy