What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Avoid pier pressure.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Feeling fintastic.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.