What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.