I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
If trees could kill you, they wood.