Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Tis the sea-sun.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
Are you squiding me right now?
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.