Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Whale, hello there.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.