What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Shell yeah.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!