I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Whale, hello there.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.