Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Whale, hello there.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.