How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!