What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
Tis the sea-sun.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.