What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Tis the sea-sun.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.