I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks