What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.