I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
Tropic like it's hot.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!