A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Beach you to it.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Seas the day.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.