I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.