What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.