During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
Whale, hello there.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"