Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Don't get tide down.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.