What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.