If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
I can sea clearly now.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.