When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.