I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
Girls just wanna have sun.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.