The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.