I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.