Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Don't get tide down.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.