What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Feeling fintastic.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Shell yeah.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet