Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Beach you to it.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
I stopped my phones to the cloud, and I kept getting mist calls.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Tis the sea-sun.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
The ocean made me salty.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.