Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!