What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.