The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
I can sea clearly now.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.