A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Seas the day.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.