I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.