What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
Sea you at the beach.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm