What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!