Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
Shell yeah.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Beach you to it.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.