The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.