What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Tis the sea-sun.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.