How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
Tis the sea-sun.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.