After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.