How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Whale, hello there.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.