What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
Water you doing?
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.