What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Are you squiding me right now?
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.