What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
Don't get tide down.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
Tropic like it's hot.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.