Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
Beach you to it.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.