I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Tropic like it's hot.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
Tis the sea-sun.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.