Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.