Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Feeling fintastic.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.