What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
Girls just wanna have sun.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
Beach you to it.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.