Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Shell yeah.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
Sea you at the beach.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.