What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!