Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.