While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.