What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Sea you at the beach.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.