I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.