What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Are you squiding me right now?
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Sea you at the beach.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.