Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Don't get tide down.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.