Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
Salty but sweet.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.