What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.