Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Salty but sweet.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Seas the day.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.