I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.