What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?