A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
Girls just wanna have sun.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Feeling fintastic.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!