When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.