There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.