What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.