Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
Shell yeah.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
The ocean made me salty.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.