Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.