How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
Feeling fintastic.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.