What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.