What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
Avoid pier pressure.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.