Tropic like it's hot.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Rainbows are very uncommon, they are blue and far between.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!