Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
Salty but sweet.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Seas the day.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!