Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
Sea you at the beach.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
That crazy little sun of a beach.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
Beach, please.