What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.