My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
Don't get tide down.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.