I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
Tropic like it's hot.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.