Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
I can sea clearly now.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.