Are you squiding me right now?
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.