Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!