What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Water you doing?
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Whale, hello there.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Tis the sea-sun.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.