Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken