Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.