Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.