How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
Don't get tide down.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.