Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.