Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
That crazy little sun of a beach.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!