Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.