What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.