What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
That crazy little sun of a beach.