What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Salty but sweet.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.