It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Please excuse my resting beach face.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Are you squiding me right now?
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.