Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.