What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.