Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.