What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Girls just wanna have sun.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.