How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.