What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.