My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.