What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.