What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.