Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
Don't get tide down.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.