Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”