What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Tis the sea-sun.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Girls just wanna have sun.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.