What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Witches are always wand-ering around…
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Come witch me to the party.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.