How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!