How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.