Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”