Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.