What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.