Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
Witch you were here.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"