Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!