What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!